“Razors pain you,Rivers are damp,Acids stain you,And drugs cause cramp.Guns aren’t lawful,Nooses give,Gas smells awful.You might as well live.”~ Dorothy Parker, Enough Rope
“Through the blur, I wondered if I was alone or if other parents felt the same way I did – that everything involving our children was painful in some way. The emotions, whether they were joy, sorrow, love or pride, were so deep and sharp that in the end they left you raw, exposed and yes, in pain. The human heart was not designed to beat outside the human body and yet, each child represented just that – a parent’s heart bared, beating forever outside its chest.” ~ Debra Ginsberg, Raising Blaze: Bringing Up an Extraordinary Son in an Ordinary World
I was tired of doing much the same thing everyday. My friends pursued their course with uneventfulness; they had no longer any surprises for me, and when I met them I knew pretty well what they would say; even their love-affairs had a tedious banality. We were like tram-cars running on their lines from terminus to terminus, and it was possible to calculate within small limits the number of passengers they would carry. Life was ordered too pleasantly. I was seized with panic. I gave up my small apartment, sold my few belongings, and resolved to start afresh.” ~ W. Somerset Maugham, The Moon and Sixpence
I just finished the twentieth day of isolation/quarantine. I did not leave the house this entire week. The CV situation has reached a devastating level – over 3,500 have died already, with over 680 deaths in a 24 hour period.
I went outside today, only the third time in the twenty days that I have been in isolation. It was a quick stop to the food market, and when I saw that the line was wrapped around the corner, I headed back home. It took all of twenty minutes.
I have to admit that I had a hard time this week. I know – I am not the only one. This has been rough on everyone. I still feel grateful in my heart that I am working and that my family is safe and healthy. But if I am being honest, being grateful does not mean that I cannot hate being in what feels like house arrest, and feel anxiety for the uncertain future that we all face.
G was so bored this week that she cut her own hair. Surprisingly, it turned out quite nice. I was not happy at first that she did that, but after some thought, I realized that she has had to adjust to this quarantine life, and if something as innocent as cutting her own hair makes her feel better, than how can I be mad at that?
I dreamt last night of G. She was younger in my dream, maybe six or seven. I was standing in my living room, aware of the chaos outside, and saw that she had sneaked outside to play. Behind her, as she was blissfully unaware of her surroundings, a Neanderthal-looking man was swinging around his firearm. I screamed through the glass sliding door for her to come inside, but it was as if she could not hear me or the Neanderthal circling around her. I frantically kept screaming for her to come inside, and I woke up right as the Neanderthal was about to close in on her.