“You would have to be half mad to dream me up.” ~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
I dreamt of you last night, although I do not even know you. The only connection I have with you is that you were once married to J, who is a very close friend of mine. Your relationship with J left very deep scars on him – scars so deep that the cuts are still very prominent on him. I dreamt of you last night, and of your ethereal beauty. I dreamt of your silky skin and your flawless features. I touched you in my dream last night, my hand caressing your soft face. I even kissed you, softly and fully on your cherry red lips, and as you pulled away from my kiss and walked away, I remember feeling lost and desperate. I wanted you in my life, but you turned away from me, and you told me that you and I were never going to be.
I woke up feeling empty and depressed, and you had belonged to me only for a brief second in my dream. I can now empathize how J must feel — loving you but not having you. His loss of you is very real. Mine was just a dream.
Sometimes, love does hurt.
I have been frustrated recently. In every aspect of my life. Professionally, in my private life, in my thoughts, in my heart, and in my body. I feel a huge influx of stresses, and I am looking for a way to release them. Neither meditation nor exercise is enough anymore. I was thinking of going to a bar one night, meeting a stranger, and just getting a good shagging. I’ve never had a one night stand before. I was thinking it might not be a bad time to start. Who knows – it might even be liberating.