I am convinced that real New Yorkers leave the city during the last two weeks of August. My office is eerily quiet, and almost everyone in my group is on vacation until the Tuesday after Labor Day.
Only the lowly dregs like me are here to hold down the fort while everyone else is away on vacation.
The dregs and the mobs of foreigners and tourists are left to wander the streets.
My bus broke down this morning at 23rd Street, and I had to schlep it all the way up to 52nd. And because I’m so brilliant and sharp-thinking in the morning, I figured I’d get in extra exercise by walking the thirty or so blocks uptown to my office.
By the time I got to work, my blouse was drenched, and my trousers were sticking to my legs. I don’t keep a spare suit in my office, so I was forced to let my clothes dry on me.
Lovely way to start the day, don’t you think?
Good thing I remembered to put on deodorant this morning. And can I just vouch for the effectiveness of my deodorant – it didn’t fail me! My pits were nice and dry.
It’s just a shame that they don’t make antiperspirant for your back.
Lessons learned today:
- Realize that most decisions made in the early morning hours are not necessarily the most intelligent
- Keep spare clothing and underwear in my office
- Take public transportation, especially when it’s during the most humid days of the season
And they say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks!
It’s the 12th day of June. It rained ten of the twelve days. I love rain. But too much of anything is never good.
I grew up poor. We were always taught never to be wasteful. The pouring of the excess sprinkles in the commercial really bothers me. Some may find that commercial funny. It stresses me out on so many levels.
My OCD nature rears its ugly head when I least expect it – when I’m trying to relax in front of the television and a stupid commercial like that one makes me think of all the cleanup they had to do to pick up all the little sprinkles off the floor – and the thought of wasting all that good sprinkle when so many people in this world are starving.
Yeah. I got issues.
Meanwhile, here’s a photo of my little devil. She’s really not, though. She just likes to pretend she is with her little red devil horns. ♥
“Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them.” ~ Richard L. Evans
I really have to develop thicker skin.
I’ve been feeling really good these last few months about myself. Despite my busy schedule, I’ve been waking up early every morning and exercising, and I’ve been eating sensibly. I’ve even dropped down to a size 2.
Seriously, it only takes a few words to shatter one’s (my) confidence.
As I passed by the reception desk this morning, the receptionist says, “Oh! Have you gained weight?”
I smiled at her and approached her desk. I thought she asked if I had lost weight. I was about to tell her my minor lifestyle changes and how happy I’ve been with how my clothes have been fitting, when she says, “Yeah, your face looks fuller. Have you gained weight?”
The disappointment must have shown in my face, because she quickly came back with a disclaimer.
“Oh, well, I haven’t seen you in awhile, so I don’t really know!”
I said, “No, I’m just always this chubby.”
Now I feel like stuffing my face, because what’s the point, right? After months of exercise and eating right, and people think I still look fat.
Either I stuff my face or don’t eat, ever again.
I just can’t win.
“It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.” ~ W.C. Fields
“A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her.” ~ David Brinkley
I haven’t been able to sleep well lately. There’s this gnawing, queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach that I haven’t been able to shake. There are too many things happening in my life right now, and unfortunately, none of them are good. Every day is a constant battle to stay positive, but it’s rather difficult when negative people and things are always in my path. I can only do so much cleaning and throwing out of the things in my life that cause me stress. I am down to a skeleton-crew of friends, so to speak. I’ve been burned too often and too much by everyone I trusted. I almost feel like I can’t rely on anyone except myself.
Maybe part of this funk that I am in is a result of being overworked. I work all the time. I have no financial support from anyone, and even worse, others actually depend on me for financial help. I worry about such things as my health and what would happen to G if something happened to me. My parents are getting older and my brother has his own life with his wife – I cannot rely on them to always catch me when I fall.
It’s a painful feeling to know that you’re alone in this world.
“It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely.” ~ Albert Einstein
“At the innermost core of all loneliness is a deep and powerful yearning for union with one’s lost self.” ~ Brendan Francis