I met EH about thirteen years ago. He had stayed at my house for a few nights when he came to visit his son, SH, my boyfriend at the time. He was a big, but gentle, man who liked to give bear hugs and tell stories of his youth. He was an excitable speaker, and I was an avid listener, and so we got along famously. Unfortunately, he did not have such good communication with his children. SH and his two sisters all fought with him constantly. Many times I never understood why they were so angry with him. Sure, he had his little quirky ways about him, but there was no doubt that he loved his children. All three of his children, including SH, are all free-spirited individuals that do not like to be tied down to conventional ways of life. EH understood that, but that didn’t stop him from giving his opinions on their hippy-like lifestyles. Sadly, his children did not appreciate his opinions, and all three of them had stopped talking to him.
Last month, I talked to SH online and asked him about his father. He told me that he had not talked to his father in two years.
Nova-san: how is your dad?SH: Not sure… have not spoken for 2 yearsNova-san: ohhh… i thought things were going well between you twoSH: I just needed a break to define who I am as a man instead of adopting his
patterns and mistaking them for mineNova-san: i seeSH: Maybe someday before he dies we can try again, but he just pissed me off,
and I don’t need people in my life who piss me offNova-san: i seeSH: life is too short, even if it is your own familyNova-san: life is too short, and maybe that’s why you should just give up your anger and call him… you don’t have to be friends with him, but at least be friendly with himSH: I have no time for people like that…Maybe someday I will have more patience
I didn’t agree with SH, but what could I say? I let it go.
Yesterday, I got this message from SH:
SH: Nova-san? My sisters just called me and told me my dad shot himself yesterday. He’s dead.
As I read his message, I couldn’t help but think about our conversation, just last month.
“Maybe someday I will have more patience.”
Sometimes, the somedays just come too late.